The Confidence of a Boy With a Pillow in His Hands
For the Kid Who Knows Who He is Before the Fight Even Begins
The older I get, the more I realize that confidence doesn’t come from being the best in the room. It comes from knowing you’ve earned the right through the work you’ve put in to be there.
This morning, after our workout, JB31 asked me how Park was doing at camp. And the pictures I showed him led to a conversation about confidence. That it isn’t about swagger or fake-it-til-you-make-it, it’s about showing up already knowing who you are because you’ve done the work when no one was watching. JB31 said it better than I could: “Some days won’t be yours. But if you’ve done the work, no one can take your confidence.”
Which brings me to the pictures (below).
That’s my 10-year-old son, Park, up at Camp Kooch-i-ching (which, yes, sounds exactly like the beginning of a campfire song). He’s spending four weeks up there in Northern Minnesota, canoeing more than 100 miles across the Boundary Waters of Northern Minnesota and Southern Canada, portaging a canoe and a 50-pound pack over rocks and through woods, learning to light fires, paddle hard, whittle with a pocket knife, shoot a gun, and live close to the land. Basically, doing all the things we’ve somehow decided boys shouldn’t be allowed to do anymore.
And then there was this moment. A full-on battle scene. The sacred rite of any respectable wilderness camp: two boys, one log, two pillows, and one chance to assert dominance without taking it personally.
Scroll through the photos and watch Park (buzz cut and Texas A&M shirt) size up his opponent with the kind of unbothered confidence that only comes when you’ve already decided: I’ve survived three older siblings. This kid’s just Thursday.
It’s not about winning. (Although… I mean, scroll to the end.)
It’s about how he showed up. Focused. Calm. Ready. That’s the thing I hope he carries long after camp is over. That when life lines up across from you with a pillow in hand, you don’t flinch. Because you’ve already done the work, and you know who you are.
Here’s hoping life gives you a few good logs to balance on, a worthy opponent to sharpen you, and enough cushion in the blow to make it fun. May you do the work, carry the weight, and show up with the kind of quiet confidence that can’t be faked. And when the moment comes, whatever it looks like for you, may you win the pillow fight of life with a grin on your face and your counselor in awe from the sidelines.
